Dear 2017...

Wait. 

How do I start a letter to a year that has both taken my breath and the steadiness of my hands? I’m still shaking like a small flower in the blustering winds of change, but let me see if I can get my beautiful life so I can thank this year for my even more beautiful life.

Okay. Let’s start at the end. 

It’s surreal to be back. Publishing something on a webpage that is part of MY brand spankin’ new website. A website I thought died with an underwhelming, half-assed post in the spring of 2014. I thought my lack of sanity, love of self, connection with Spirit, courage, and inspiration had dragged me long enough to never think of a dot com again. But alas...I was wrong, just as I had been many times before.

2017, thank you.

For being witness to a love so honest and pure it could only belong to oneself. I painted my past in a dark room. Splashed it with anguished tears, wrapped it in blood-stained panic attacks, filled it with the fog of depression, bad decisions, loathing, codependency, and fear. But after I stood in the mirror and told myself to get out of my way, I finally listened. I brokered a truce with my shadows, and stood still as God showered my golden seeds with blessings. Self-love – not the kind that makes you tell yourself you look good in an outfit, but the one that pulls you together so you can keep your life – was all it took. 

Now let’s rewind. 

On January 1, 2017 I wrote the word FEAR as large as I could on a piece of wishing paper, lit it on fire, and watched the ashes float into the sky. A fiery promise to myself, and written proof of my intention to do all things with love and relinquish fear. Well…the Universe heard me, saw me, and felt the power I put into that ritual, because just a few weeks later my life, and you, would change forever.

2017, thank you. 

Firstly, for being a frame for the final bloom of my relationship – one that had been muddled by self-loathing, distrust, and agony in previous years. You cradled endless days filled with beautiful, healing, sacred love – love of our own, love between our union, and love from family, friends, and even strangers that have become acquainted with our story. 

With you I finally realized why. I realized that the insurmountable pain was fundamental to breaking the molds of doubt that kept us disconnected – from God, with ourselves, and in turn with each other. I finally realized why the “perfect time” took so long. The Universe had already elected you as our glow up year. With you we would make our union official as husband and wife. Divine timing. You. You were divine.

2017, God, Spirit, Universe, Source…thank you. 

For choosing me to create life. Not just any life, but the most gorgeous, intelligent, joyous, and powerful little brown queen I’ve ever bared witness to. Thank you for designating my womb sufficient to house a miracle. Remember when that doctor told me that I would have trouble conceiving in 2011? Remember when I actually believed him? If only He knew that it was already written in the cosmos for me. If only He know that I was created to love, and create love from my love. If only He knew how perfect she is…how much peace she’s brought to our lives…how I’m sure she is going to change the world. 

2017, thank you.

For giving me 365 opportunities to share my light, my passion, my knowledge, and my spirit with the world. For being the first year I fearlessly spoke my truths in service to God. For being the stage upon which I shouted praise for my miracles, publicly honoring my soul, and guiding the masses towards turning on their own lights. For helping me align with my soul’s true purpose on Earth.

2017, thank you. For giving me the tools I need to multiply my blessings in 2018. Choosing a word to release as opposed to choosing a word to focus on worked in my favor, so I’m going to keep it going in the new year.

In 2018, I intend to release wasting my time in every sense of the phrase. Life is too precious to waste as little as a minute doing or feeling any way that doesn’t stir your soul. With that said, I plan to shake shit up.

Here’s to continuing to live, love, and inspire the manifestation of miracles in 2018. 

Forever, forever, forever grateful – Mel.